2014, Let me be honest with you...

“For last year's words belong to last year's language,
And next year's words await another voice,
And to make an end is to make a beginning."
- T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets


I don't know about you guys but I'm pretty excited for New Year's Eve.
Here are the few reasons why:
1) Spending my NYE at a hotel staycation with my best friends.
2) Proud of myself for surviving those tears,backstabbing,lies & bullshit from people throughout the year
3) I'm damn well happy to leave 2014 behind.


If you are wondering if I have learnt any lesson from this year, I would say that I have more guts to cut
people out of my life now. I usually give in and allow people to step over me. Especially friends who took
advantage of my kindness before but recently, I realised that I do not have the patience to tolerate some
people anymore.

There were a few times this year whereby it involved school,work and personal life together that totally
changed my perspective on some people. They were the worst events that happened this year other than my break-up.
I hate drama. I hate liars and I always try my best to stay out of it. So, I had to cut people off my
connections and re-consider my own happiness.
If you(the people who are in my cut-off list to this situation) are still in my connection,
I probably just want you to watch how well/happy I do now in the present and the future.
And that includes my exes/past dates who some finally took note of my existence after years or
some who are trying to wiggle back into my Life again.

My reaction to all of these people is simply, NO.

No more.

Thus,I am beginning to understand why people would judge you based on who you surround or
associate with and that made me picky about it.
I have also grown tired of mingling and meeting new people such as on Tinder,Badoo or wherever.

"I am pulling the Ted Mosby and be DONE with it already." - Thought Catalog.

I recently met up with a friend whom I have not seen for almost a year and we were heavily
discussing about dating apps, mingling and the kind of dates/guys we stumble upon.
It made me recall a conversation I had last week with a 40-year old man whom I got to know in
Kudeta sometime ago(Don't ask, he was interested in my friend not me).
He told me to chill and just enjoy the ride because I have plenty of time as I am only 22 years old.

He was right.

I guess the only reason why I went through this mingling phase in a short period of time is because
I have never ever put myself out there into the dating scene until this year. I was indeed scared of
being lonely and unloved but I have gotten used to being alone again in a happy way.
To be really honest, I always prefer to be alone or do things by myself since secondary school years,
but I guess I was just afraid for a while after a break-up.

However, I would have not survived all those tears and shitty drama without my family,
close friends and newfound friends.

Those days whereby I kept ranting and maybe teared a little during work at RWS and you made me
laugh about everything, Thank you [A].
When I was lost and confused about making a tough decision to leave my previous job but you gave me a few mature advices on how to handle it which made me feel better and motivated, Thank you [H].
When I was lifeless for a few months and you guys add colours into my Life ,
Thank you [A, Sw and a few others].
When I needed someone to eat good food, desserts and do crazy risky things with me for
my birthday and other random times, Thank you [H].
When I felt really lonely/vulnerable on that one night and only you knew but also choosing to listen,
Thank you [L].
When I needed a shoulder to cry hard-and-so-much on, Thank you Mum and Dad.

Thank you. (Though I have not met a few of you guys for quite some time but hehe.)

On the positive and greener side:
1) I have grown much closer to my family
2) I finally picked up cooking
3) I am less naive
4) I feel more comfortable with myself (Screw those diets and weighing machines)
5) I feel much better and decisive about certain things as compared to before.

Yes, so much has happened in a year but I am also thankful for the rest
whom I got to know along the way.
People come into your Life for a reason whether it is good or bad.
In the end of the day, always remember that you've only got yourself to fall back on and
I have definitely learnt how to handle different people and situations better this time.


“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things,
trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself,
changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before,
and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself.
Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes.
Make mistakes nobody's ever made before.
Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't
good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is:
art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
― Neil Gaiman

So before I end this post, I posted some highlighted photos from this lovely year of 2014...

Thank you all for reading and making my 2014 an interesting year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!




Til the next post, xoxo~

Being 22 and Single,

I'm loving it.

I have had my ups and downs in relationships for the past 3 years and gained so much valuable experiences that helped me to grow as a human. So what made me think about this randomly?

Well I am sick, bed-ridden and my iPad became my entertainment buddy. Thus, I ended up reading some articles on thoughtcatalog and elitedaily.com about love, dating, hook-up culture and relationships.
My friends would be laughing by now about my experiences with all sorts of men but I finally realised that I know who I am now.
I am actually done mingling through those dating apps and getting myself out there to the sea.
It is not a bad thing to put yourself out there but the one thing that I learnt from those experiences is that I know I was not myself. I have met assholes, jerks, weirdos, sweet guys and I even turned to the person who I am not. I do not hate it but now, I know.

Another lesson that I have learnt so far is about being happy.
I was going through one of the toughest problems last month and people simply asked, "Are you happy?"
It is a basic question that makes people think when the answer is fairly simple, yes or no with no buts.
If you do not feel happy where you are, leave.
That is when I know the importance of cutting people out who do not make me feel happy.
Thus, I find myself asking that question to my own friends who are going through problems.
I love how a simple question can make people re-think of the choices they make.
I want to be happy with the things that I do and being surrounded with the people who make me happy, helps a lot.

I remember sitting in the car with my best friends during a night drive and asking ourselves, "Why are we single?" "Why is it so hard for us?"
Besides being aware of the trust issues that we have for men, I guess we are just contented with the way our lives are right now.
I always remind myself that having a partner means that he is just there to compliment who you are and not to depend on.

As quoted in Grey's anatomy from Christina to Meredith, "You are a gifted surgeon with an extraordinary mind. Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are."
I love that quote so much.

So here's to the girls who are in early 20s and single like me or in a confused dating stage:

Go out, mingle and make as many friends as you can right now.
There is no such thing as being a late bloomer in this modern dating culture so there is nothing wrong in re-starting your life again…. and again.
We are only young once so we should live our lives as much as we can and let things flow as it is.
Learn to embrace who you were, who you do not want to be and who you are now.
There is no point to re-create yourself if you do not accept your past.
You will learn so much more about yourself and the value of life and family from the mistakes you make along the way.
Do not be afraid to make mistakes because they make the most valuable lessons that you will learn for the future.
It is not bad that you tend to lose touch of who you really are but that's the beauty of it.
Get lost so that you can be found.

Life is a journey that is full of never-ending experiences wherever we choose to go.



Well, I am just writing my thoughts down about being 22 and single in this modern culture. This topic is always debatable but I am simply voicing out generally.


Til the next post, xoxo.

Bits & pieces of Hanoi and Halong bay ...

As I was clearing photos in my camera, I realised that I did not save my Vietnam photos to my hard drive.
So I figured that I should just post some of my favourite photos that I captured during my trip to Hanoi and Halong Bay. However, I will not talk about the details of the trip as to avoid repetition in another blog collaboration that I am working on with my best friend.

Just for your information about this trip:-
1) I came across Halong bay through Google and I fell in love with pictures about the view.
2) I went to Vietnam with my parents and their friends.
3) I was literally the only youth in the group.
4) The trip was A-MA-ZING.



It was Lantern festival when we arrived in Vietnam so streets were filled with lanterns and all sorts of colourful sticks.






Located in one of the busiest streets, the water puppet theatre show is a popular tourist attraction.





I found this set-up of an entrance to the wedding SO PRETTY.




Rice fields everywhere we go, literally.



My Happy daddy.


So we arrived at the cruise in Halong Bay and it is super cool that the boat sailed through these islands that we are so close to.


My parents chose to stay on the boat while I venture to the caves by myself.


Sunset!

They were squid fishing ….

One of my favourite moments while being on the cruise, is to watch the starry sky in such a calm and quiet mood on the upper deck of the boat. It felt so peaceful.


My always-positive mommy!


I get to meet one of the coolest and oldest backpackers during the cruise. Her stories were inspiring and funny that I wished she was my grandma. She is actually a retiree and just started fulfilling her bucket list. The other woman beside her is a good friend of my parents who works as a travel agent under 'Quins Travel', that is owned by her and her husband.


Thanks to the makciks(malay aunties), they insisted that I should take a photo with them. Apparently they are referees and footballers for ASEAN soccer games. The only ones who know the full and embarrassing story behind this picture are just my best friends and it stays there.


I just had to get a hand-sewn Vietnamese top!

Thanks to my parents for agreeing to go on this trip with me despite having fears for waters and being on the cruise.

MAD LOVE for the pretty artwork on these fans.


When I reached Changi airport,….




Til next post, xoxo.

Let's Start … (About me)

So I have finally started blogging again for a few reasons:-
1. For the sake of my school project.
2. My friends kept telling me that I should create a website to display my works/portfolio.
3. Writing helps to improve my English.
4. It will be a waste to delete my blogger account which was first created in 2006 and blogspot is free so,why not?

Since this is my first official post, let's just do an introduction of who I am to all of my readers out there.

My real name is Hanim Zain. I am 22 years old and currently studying in Fashion marketing & branding BA(Hons) while working as a freelance model or talent. My friends call me 'Hani' or 'Nim' as short forms.
I am mixed Malay+Chinese as my mum is a Chinese convert and my dad is a pure Malay. My Favourite colors are white, black and gold. I love food, music and movies. My wardrobe is mostly filled with basics over prints. For example, I have 5 different types of a plain white tee and the same goes for my black tees too. I would not call myself a very fashionable or stylish person but I like the idea of simplicity and sophistication. I like to wear my glasses because they keep me grounded and remind me of my nerdy self.

Here are the 20 random facts about me that I posted on Instagram sometime ago:
1) I had braces on during secondary school for 3 years.
2) I had my two front teeth shaved off a bit cause they were too big.
3) My lower body part is longer than my upper body.
4) I have uneven eyelids that some photographers have a problem with it.
5) I do not eat clams/snails/oysters.
6) I own a Blackberry z10 phone that always fail on me.
7) I used to be active in sports such as swimming & badminton.
8) I love dancing. I stopped modern dance and went ahead with cheerleading during secondary school.
9) I stopped dancing due to health problems.
10) I cannot sing for nuts.
11) I am known to have high tolerance of all sorts of people around me due to my high level of patience.
12) However, I am very temperamental depending on the situation.
13) I like to be alone most times.
14) I am single.
15) I do not like to show my weak/vulnerable side to people.
16) I have a collection of old school glass bottles.
17) I was a Twilight fan who still owns the books, dvd and their movie poster.
18) I do have chinese in my blood thanks to my mum.
19) I started modelling thanks to the New paper New face competition but it will never be my lifetime career.
20) I love to laugh or be happy so I am always the joker who is always making my friends laugh at me and my crap/bimbotic/lame moments.


Anyway, Let's start anew with my new blog in its all-white layout that is simple and minimalist.
Nim-tism is also a term that I came up with few years ago to describe my essence or myself.
If you are going to wonder what kind of topics that I am going to talk about in my blog, I really do not know.
Due to the overwhelming blogger trend in Singapore, I do not want to talk about something that is too cliche or too personal.

I guess you will know as time passes by but I will try to add a touch of humour or drama to keep this blog interesting and useful.

Just kidding about the drama. Hehe!




xoxo,Hanim Z.